May 1, 2012

Guest Post from Graham Parke: Unspent Time Launch Party

Hi guys! Here is Graham Parke having a Launch Party for his book, Unspent Time :)

Unspent Time Launch Party

Get free books and win a Kindle Fire or a Kindle Touch

Unspent Time on Kindle

Warning: reading this novel may make you more attractive and elevate your random luck by about 9.332%*
(* These statements have not been evaluated by any person of consequence!)

From the award winning author of ‘No Hope for Gomez!’ comes a collection of impossible tales. Permeating the cracks between the past and the present is the realm of Unspent Time; time that was allotted but never spent. This is where we find the stories that could have been true.
Read how to enter below.

Excerpt
It is not uncommon for writers to have a keenly developed interest in their fellow man. For them to spend hours looking at people, listening to them, discovering all the little synchronicities and ambiguities that make them unique.

But I don’t have that.

In fact, I can’t stand people. And there’s so freaking many of them. They’re like huge, overblown ants, crawling all over the world and getting in my way.

So it came as a big surprise to me when I met a fellow human who didn’t immediately piss me off. Who didn’t make me want to take a ten minute detour just to avoid eye-contact, or feel that disgusting little disturbance in the air that inevitably occurs when people come close.

This is rare.

This man, let's call him John, has a very interesting day job. One I didn’t even know existed. Apparently, he’s the guy who designs the colors for the insides of shoes.

Bet you didn’t know that. Bet you never realized there was a guy out there who spent the better part of a year deciding on the exact shade of tan to use for the inside of the shoes you are wearing right now. Or that weird off-white color in your sneakers that you wouldn’t call egg-shell – not just because it’s not exactly egg-shell, but mostly because you never actually noticed the color of the inside of your sneakers.

And that’s also part of John’s brilliance; the way he manages to let his work blend into the background. John is at the top of his profession and he’s one of the few people in the world who can create that all important balance between the inside color of your shoe and:

1. The outside color of your shoe (obviously designed by hippies and no good marketing managers without a subtle bone in their bodies.)

2. The odd lighting conditions created inside your shoe by the shape of the nose and the height of the heel.

3. The mood a specific shoe-shape induces.

This balance is needed to create a perfect blend of unobtrusiveness. Now, I would normally interject a few words here about what the world must’ve been like before John began this valiant work. I’d give examples of the kind of accidents that occurred when people became distracted by the color of the insides of their shoes as they were putting them on. How it destroyed their lives and the lives of the loved ones they fell on. But I won’t do this. I don’t have the data at hand to back it up and, to be honest, I think it would be reaching a bit. I’m sure things weren’t that bad. We survived somehow and we’ll probably continue to survive long after John retires. Nevertheless, this doesn’t make John any less interesting.

... continued in Unspent Time

How to enter
For the launch of the new novel I decided to discount it to $0.99 for today (PC and eBook), give away some exclusive content, and raffle off two Kindles. All entrants will get:
  • An exclusive spin-off novelette (not available for purchase anywhere!)
  • Making of Gomez: behind the scenes eBook
  • Signature for their paperback or kindle edition
  • Chance to win a Kindle Fire or a Kindle Touch
(Prizes can be traded for Amazon gift certificates if you already own them.) Just email your receipt to nohopeforgomez@gmail.com to enter. Each purchase counts, so stock up on birthday presents (for people you don't like that much, for instance) The discount ends today, but be sure to send the receipts no later than June 1st.

(Or order the books from any bookstore.)
Coupon code for today: ZB77D

And then get by ing about your purchase and another by mentioning it on facebook

Sound bites from Unspent Time:

“I'm looking into my past lives. I'm convinced some of them still owe me money.”

“I'm very polite by nature, even the voices in my head let each other finish their sentences.”

“I didn’t actually want to do it,” Kiala told the boy. “The universe just kind of conspired to force me to make a fool of myself. It does that quite a lot, actually.”

“Sadly, my socks are like snowflakes, no two are exactly alike.”

Here's what reviewers had to say:

"A veritable page turner of nonstop laughs!" -- Reader Views
"An unputdownable read. a Coens Brothers' film in book form." -- BookReview.com
“Extremely witty and clever writing.” -- California Chronicle
"A Party for your Brain!" -- Warren Baxter

Bio:
Graham Parke is responsible for a number of technical publications and has recently patented a self-folding map. He has been described as both a humanitarian and a pathological liar. Convincing evidence to support either allegation has yet to be produced.


1 comment:

  1. Maria, thanks for joining in with the launch event. I'll check back for comments ;)

    ReplyDelete

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